Fatherhood is the scariest thing that I have experienced. I became a father without any training.

Unfortunately, my dad was in and out of my life since I was a toddler. I was raised by a single mother who struggled both financially and emotionally. This was the foundation and understanding that I have taken into my fatherhood.

Becoming Fatherhood

I know that the Bible tells us to be fruitful and to multiply. However, I must be honest; with every child, I always experienced a moment of anxiety and increased tension.

It has nothing to do with whether or not I wanted another child at that moment, but more so about the fact of having to level up as a father. I realized that there was more that was required from me specifically in order to become the father that my family needed.

Financial Aspect Of Fatherhood

However, I wrestled with the idea of not knowing how I was going to support my children financially. Therefore, I found myself becoming a workaholic, I often worked 2 or 3 jobs and was never home to help my wife raise our children. Listen up, being a workaholic mixed with alcoholism was a recipe for disaster.

I quickly learned that children thrive most in homes with present parents. Honestly, they could care less about the financial aspect of parenting. I found that children need your time. Most of all, they need to be nurtured and loved. I had no knowledge of this part of fatherhood.

History Of Fatherhood

Throughout my childhood, my father was affected by alcoholism and drug abuse. As I became a man, I started to see similarities between my dad and myself. For instance, I would go to work all day and evening then come home and drink alcohol before passing out.

This was not healthy at all and not only was I destroying my health and life, but also my family’s life. I was ruining the relationships that I had with my wife and children. Something needed to change and it needed to happen fast. Unfortunately, habits die hard. I went through some really tough patches and hit rock bottom a few times before eventually cutting the habit of alcoholism.

Growing Active As a Father

Since that time, I have found a space to nurture my fatherhood. I have found myself thriving in loving my children. It’s such a great feeling to be present at the moment and not distracted by substances. I have created boundaries that have helped me become a better father and husband.

Finding myself has been a journey in growing and maturing throughout the last several years. When I look back over the years, I see how much I have truly drifted from the person that I used to be. It’s almost as if that person never existed. It’s pretty scary when I think about it. However, I am so grateful for the father I am today.

Oftentimes, when I look into the mirror I see this new person that I am becoming. With God’s Grace and Mercy, I am becoming the father I needed when I was a child.

So here’s my advice to you, embrace change and grow through the seasons of change. Growing in fatherhood is not a sprint but more of a marathon. Take your time and remember your presence is significant.